Welcome to The Coloring Book

Today is my birthday, the 56th anniversary of my birth. On most birthdays I'd be either working or spending the day having an adventure my wife planned out. She's very good at planning out adventures.

Instead this birthday I'm the one planning. Planning on having my left foot re-sculpted so I can once again walk like a normal human biped. Actually strike that. A successful operation will mean I'll walk like a normal person, perhaps for the first time in my life. Currently my foot is such that I walk on the side of it, my big toe riding high and the left side of my foot callused, the tendon stretched into uselessness. As you might imagine, it's quite painful. Amazing thing about the human body though, once you've had the pain long enough, you get used to it. That is until I place my foot wrong, or walk on an uneven surface, or walk for a long period of time. Then the pain shoots up to my eyes, hot daggers dragged mercilessly up the back of my leg till I beg for a moment to avail myself of the opiate of deep breathing and visualization of my "happy place". And a hit of Advil always helps too.

Once upon a time I went to an orthopedist who prescribed an orthodic "device" to insert into my shoes. It was supposed to force the left side of my foot up and the big toe back down. Like a comic book super villain pestered by the futility of mere bullets to harm him, my foot would grind down the device till it cried uncle. After several versions over the course of several years and way too many hours of physical therapy provided no relief, I gave myself over to the idea of a surgical repair. .

I had nothing better to do for three months anyway.

Yes, that's three months of recovery. Half will be with no weight allowed on the foot at all, then half with very limited weight bearing. Basically bed ridden.

There aren't enough books, movies, and music to make that bearable.

When I was little, if I needed to go to the doctor I would be rewarded with a pretzel, an egg cream, and a coloring book. While the pretzel and the egg cream were greatly appreciated, it was the coloring book that made all the difference. It was what took my mind off the pain of the shot, or the fever, or the stomach ache. And yes, I was one of those kids who colored inside the lines.

But I did like making the sky green and the trees orange and the boy white and the girl black.

This blog will serve as my adult version of a coloring book. 90 days from Friday I  hope to be back at work with a new spring in my step and a song in my heart.

Here we go.