It's Masters Weekend.
But instead of the usual blooming azaleas and walks along freshly mown spring grass, the Golf Gods decided in this year of COVID to hold the tournament as the shadows lengthen and thoughts of Thanksgiving dinner and it's inherent new fangled difficulties begin to fill our heads. The first two rounds have both had to be extended to the next day because of a lack of daylight in order to finish them (honestly, why didn't they take a silly thing like daylight into consideration?). Nevertheless the tournament will be played and some young white guy or Tiger Woods will be modeling that oh so preppy green jacket come Sunday night.
But I'm not here to talk about sports. I'm here to talk about sportsmanship.
A couple of days before the election, soon to be ex-Vice President Mike (Mommy Says I'm A Good Boy) Pence called up Jack Nicklaus and asked him to endorse the Trump/Pence ticket. Jack Nicklaus is the greatest golfer of all time until someone else is better and I guess the campaign was worried about potentially losing the white male country club vote.
That alone shows they really didn't know how to run a campaign.
Well Jack being as Republican as can be wrote a full throated endorsement of the Great Orange Cheeto and then went on to imply, no downright say that the other side were communist authoritarians. It was that last bit that was a bridge too far even for white shoes America. Golf fans of all stripes decided old Jackie double bogeyed that hole and let him know it. But Nicklaus, finding himself in front of a microphone for the first time in many a year decided to double down on that $5 Nassau and go on to state that he thought the COVID numbers, both cases and deaths, were overblown. He even said someone he knew was asked if it was okay to say their late parents had died of COVID because the hospital would get more money (hmm, where have I heard that line before?).
Yup, old Uncle Fuzzy ruined everyone's Thanksgiving by sitting down at the end of the table and going off on how the COVID can't be real cause he ain't gotten it. Pass the yams.
Skip ahead 10 days. The Masters traditionally begins with a ceremonial tee shot from one or two living legends of the sport. Stand on the first tee, have someone hand you a driving wood, and have everyone ooh and ahh at how an 80 year old can still get it out there a hundred yards or so. Then take a couple of questions from reporters and shuffle off to the clubhouse for a mimosa.
Before going any further I should mention how Jack Nicklaus was thought to be one of the great exemplars of sportsmanship. Famously he told his opponent at a deciding Ryder cup match to go ahead and pick up his ball when it was sorta close to the hole, thus causing a tie in the match and allowing his opponent and the rest of the opposing team to save face. In his lifetime he preached sportsmanship over winning, and that cheating was not to be tolerated in any facet of life.
Do you see where I'm headed?
Sure enough one of the first questions was from Christine Brennan of USA Today:
“As you know, I wanted to speak with you before I wrote my column about your very public support of President Trump. I’d love to ask this now if I may. You are known as the ultimate gracious sportsman in the game of golf and really throughout sports, certainly with your career, with Ryder Cups, the way you’ve handled victory and defeat and the like. I’m just curious: What is your advice to President Trump on how to accept defeat?”
Jack stood tall, squared his shoulders, drew a breath and replied:
"I think I’ve said enough about that. I don’t think this is the place for politics.”
Um, yeah. You said a whole lot with that statement. You said that the wanna be presidente for life was right to go ahead and keep contesting an election he has clearly lost. You said it's okay to keep looking for legal loopholes to stay one step ahead of the Southern District of New York's prosecutors. You said the will of the American people should be disregarded because, well, they're wrong and he (and me) are right. You said you believed the lies and the falsehoods Donald Trump has perpetuated on the public these last four years are okay by you so long as those godless Demoncrats don't get into the White House.
In other words, what you said was that sportsmanship doesn't matter. Being a gracious loser is for suckers. Winning at any cost is all that matters.
Just like your hero Donald Trump, who by the way is well known to cheat at golf.
Ohh shanked that one good. Can I get a mulligan?
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