Walk Like A Man

I took a step today.

That's not a metaphor; I took a step. As in one step. As in right leg out, left leg out. It damn near killed me.

We take walking for granted. Well, I take walking for granted, I've been doing it nearly all my life. Be honest, when was the last time you really THOUGHT about walking? I don't mean going out for a walk through the wonders of nature, I mean when was the last time you thought about the way you walk? I doubt, unless you have been in my situation or a similar one, you ever have. It's only natural. We just get up and start walking.

Now I'm forced to think about walking. How does one walk? One thing I've discovered is that without being aware of it, I naturally want to start walking by pushing off with my left leg, which currently resides inside a fiberglass cast. I wonder if that has anything to do with all the hours I have spent driving, getting in and out of the left hand side of a car? Man I'd be in serious trouble driving in England. Come to think of it, when I've gone to Great Britain I'm in trouble just trying to cross the street.

But I digress.

On top of having to think about the act of walking, I'm having to get used to newly modified equipment down there. No more ankle dragging on the ground, no more listing to one side, no more limp. Muscles that haven't been used in years are being asked to wake from their dormancy and they rebel against that idea. There is my own native determination to get things done quickly, so yes I'm admitting to having the thought in my head of why can't I just get this over with. Some would call it patience, a quality I lack a quantity of.

We just take it as natural that you swing one leg forward then the other and that's how we get from point A to point B. But in reality there is a millisecond when we balance on one leg before the other one hits the ground. That's where I'm having some difficulty. I can throw my left leg out, but my mind will not allow me to balance on it for even that millisecond in order to swing forward my right leg. Is it a matter of not feeling secure because of the cast, or is it the voice in the back of my head saying what if putting all your weight on that foot will do damage so don't do it because I don't want to have to go through this all over again? Jesus that voice in the back of my head is a nag.

 There is nothing more basic for self determination than being able to transport one's self. Nearly all of man's inventions ultimately come back to being a system allowing us to get somewhere. We talk about civilization beginning with the wheel. Our natural progression is to go from crawling to walking to demanding the keys to the family station wagon. The ancients sang heroic ballads to those men who could run the fastest and most revered the gods who were blessed with speed of foot. Just look at poor Achilles, felled by being vulnerable in the body location currently under repair on myself. I feel your pain big guy.

So it all comes down to being able to put one foot in front of the other. I was able to quell the apprehension long enough to do it once, if putting my left leg out and kinda sorta dragging, slightly lifting my right leg to come up parallel counts as taking a step. I'm counting it as such.

As the poet said, it's all a process. Meanwhile we'll let Frankie and the boys sing us out.